No, it wasn't. There was a post on here last night which I have held over, after a good night's sleep and some common sense. I will most likely repost it later, when I have moved on and am no longer deemed unprofessional. Ok, so either way, it's probably unprofessional but my conscience will feel better this way.
Tomorrow is Hump Day, this gladdens my little heart quite a bit. This means, two and a half days left until D Day - Dah Dah Day! *laugh* Time seems to have slowed right down to turtle-speed for me, so forgive me if I seem jittery and impatient.
I was thinking the other day how there are parts of me I miss. No, I haven't lost them as such, I have changed and I miss some of those elements about me. I miss being quiet and shy sometimes. I have become confident and outgoing within myself, though I do suffer from boughts of anxiety and lack of self confidence.
I miss being thin. Yes, this is a revelation, huh! I miss being free, light and nimble. I have become overweight and heavy-footed. I would like to exercise, but injured my ankle about two months ago and it has never recovered. I would like to play tennis again, but I cannot. I miss lying on my back in bed at night with my hands on my stomach, and feeling a flat surface. My stomach is fat. There is a bulge. I miss the feeling of ribs! I miss feeling my hips.
I miss my long hair. As a legacy of being fat, I cannot have long hair as my face looks chubbier and I look flat. So, I have short hair. I miss the variety of long hair - you can wear it up, down, curl it or whatever. Short hair is very boring and harder to maintain than long hair.
I miss that I was happy for most of the time, that life's woes and concerns didnt phase me too much. Now, I worry about everything, I get bent out of shape about Glen leaving the heater on, or not cleaning the toilet, or being late for an informal meeting. I wish I was more carefree and relaxed. I stress about everything, I worry about money and the future.
I could spend my life missing everything that I dont have, but used to. I dont, but just lately I have lamented these losses and others. Now, I must go decide what to do about dinner, again.
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1 comment:
Grow your hair. You will love it. And you can put it up if you are worried about it making your face look 'fat'. Also too, you can keep styled in long layers, which actually makes your face look thinner :)
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