I'm noticing these days that a lot of people who are around my age are complaining that their lives lack purpose, they lack direction and don't understand where their place is in the world. They are tired and lost, think time is running out and are generally dejected and depressed about it.
I'm one of those lost individuals, struggling to find her place in this world. I'm lacking direction, and don't know what my purpose is. As a result, I seem to flit from one thing to another, without finishing things; for I get halfway through a task and realise that it's not really what I wanted. For example, I started a teaching degree a few years ago, got maybe 1/3 the way through and lost interest. This was partly due to the fact that it was hard to study and work at the same time, because I had moved to Melbourne and found a life and also realised that I would infact be earning much less than I was currently. Yes, money spoke and I listened.
So, recently I have been wondering what life was meant to hold for me. What was my higher purpose? I am struggling to come to terms with it and what it means to my life. Right now, I feel that if my life ended today, no one would really have much to say at my funeral. What would they say? There isn't much. I mean, they can't say, "survived by children...", "grandmother to..." or "founding member of...". There's just nothing there and it really makes me feel empty and lost.
I am lost and I'm struggling with that concept. I am 30 years old and I haven't found my place in this world.
Just a girl, perhaps a woman, 'venting' her frustration on the world! She's pretty easy to get along with, but can be stubborn if the mood takes her. She's known to get bored easily, but that's because she needs challenges. Sam is staunchly loyal to her friends and respects everyone's right to their opinion but it doesn't mean she agrees with them! :P
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1 comment:
If that's the way you feel then I guess it's something that you need to sort out with yourself, but I would remind you of a couple of things...
You don't have to be survived by children or become a grandmother to find a 'place'. I would say we're put on the earth to make the most of ourselves, to be all that we can be and to evolve through our experiences. Some people have an easier time than others, some people make more money than others, some people become famous and others don't. It doesn't make any single person less important. I'm reminded of a line from this: http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html...
"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Read it again, "greater and lesser" but equally important. Ok?
As morbid as it sounds, if you died I would move heaven and earth to be at your funeral. You've been a great friend Sam, always listening and understanding. Who could ask for more? And you'd be survived by all your pets and your Glen who I'm sure would miss you and be lost without you. And then there's all your friends and family... need I go on?
Don't feel alone in trying to find something to do that really makes you happy. A job is simply a means to an end (and a certain amount of cash) for most people, although a few live to work instead of the other way around but each to their own. Personally I work to live, and there's nothing wrong with that IMHO. If teaching is something that makes you happy then make it a hobby outside of your regular 9-5 job.
Anyway, that's enough out of me. Just remember there's a bunch of us out here that think the world of you Sam. :)
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