Sorry for the silence. It's been a bit hectic and tiring since my mum has been visiting us. However, she's gone home now, so I have a little free time to update.
Today probably wasn't my best day. Mum and I have been driving each other up the wall. I think spending all that time together really wears on our nerves for each other. I felt like shit for thinking that I'd be relieved to see her go. I felt god awful actually. It's that guilt a daughter feels for any negative thoughts she has towards her mother and proven wrong when her mother does something incredibly nice and lovely.
Anyway, as I was racing to the bus station this afternoon, mum piped up and said she understood that it was impossible for us to get along for stretches at a time like we tried to this week. She went onto say that she didn't know if she'd move here, but if she did, we wouldn't spend that much time with me. She actually went onto say that she understands why we don't get along that well and it's quite an eye-opener. She said it's an inter-generational thing and a lack of understanding of the other. I think she alluded to the fact that younger people are less tolerant of older people, but older people understood each other and were tolerant because of it. It made perfect sense in the car on the way to the bus stop!!
So, that's how I know that eventually if mum moves here, I know we'll be able to cope, because of the mere fact that she understands that our relationship is flawed because of our age difference, perhaps because we aren't able to fully understand where the other is coming from.
And I can accept that and am glad that mum understands that I don't hate her, or her company. It's just age and I suppose when I am her age, I'll look back and wonder why we didn't have more in common.
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Other reasons why my day kinda sucked.
We were driving to the local supermarket this morning to grab something for lunch. I turned the corner and saw on my side of the road, a sparrow fluttering on the road in obvious distress. He'd obviously been partially run over by a car, and was fatiguing badly. He couldn't manage to fly away, let alone get off the road. As anyone would have, I drove around him so as not to squash him. My mother was upset, as was I which is why I made the decision to turn around and do the thing that no one else was willing to do - I turned the car around, aimed my front tyre and ran over the little guy and I felt like pure shit for ending another's life. Having said that, to watch someone, or something else suffer like that is very heart breaking, which is why I can sort of understand the euthanasia debate. Seeing someone in pain is so difficult and you know that ending their pain is your priority, but the outcome is little comfort for anyone.
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Lastly, I was awoken this morning by Glen is a small panic - Clio had a swollen eye and eyebrow. At first we thought that she had tangled with one of the cats in the middle of the night, so I let Glen head onto work and monitor Clio. Half an hour later, my panic got the better of me and I called the vet and made an appointment. It appears that Clio has tangled with an insect and she came off second-best. So, after a shot of anti-histamine and a shot of cortosone, some tablets, the vet made a nice little $115 for 10 minutes. Bloody dog!! *laugh* Good thing we love her to bits.
Anyway, enough ranting. I'm tired and need to rest my weary body!
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I have done the same thing as you with the sparrow, but to a lizard. It feels AWFUL, but you just know it's the right thing.
And I have worked out why my mum is so difficult (but not why your mum is. Sorry). My mum's never had to work for or with anyone. She has only ever had to get along with my dad, and he's very easy to get along with. So she's been running around with her own opinions on how life should work, without having to make compensations for anyone elses point of veiw. Which leads to disaster socially.
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